Monthly Archives: December 2010

A resolution, a review and… warped gravity!

I am publicly making a new year’s resolution: In 2011 I will write a full draft of In the Red.  It may suck, but it’s happening.  Hopefully at this time next year I will not be writing a sad blog post about how extravagantly short I fell of that goal.

13-rue-Thérèse-wise, I just got a review on Booklist, a mostly good one.  Since it is behind a pay wall, I can’t link to it, so I will quote the best bit here:

This ambitious first novel…At turns truly exciting and overflowing with imagination,…is full of intriguing characters…  Puzzle-lovers will be curious to check out the book’s online counterpart, in which they can view 3-D versions of the book’s images.

Yay!  I think that is the last of the pre-pub reviews in industry papers.  I am glad they mentioned the website because it is shaping up to be ferociously awesome.  It will come online January 7.

Meanwhile I just got back from a tiny holiday in Santa Cruz, where I got to visit with an old friend, witness sea lions doing alternately endearing and disgusting things, and experienced radically altered gravity.  That last one was at the Mystery Spot.  My husband and I were prepared to be underwhelmed (being inveterate skeptics) but it was really, really weird, and thus I recommend it.  If you’re into the idea of feeling like you need a barf bag while standing still on solid ground, it will rock your world.  The warped pendulum was especially cool.

The property was purchased in 1939 by a dude who wanted to build a summer home, and the guy who sold him the lot insisted that he also buy a big piece of land up the side of the hill even though it was unbuildable.  The man who absolutely had to shed the property lacked capitalist vision.  The purchaser, however, did not.  And thus, an amusing tourist trap was born–because who wouldn’t pay five bucks to watch a billiard ball roll the wrong way up an incline?

 

Addendum, after being told, “duh, don’t you know mystery spots are just optical illusions:” It doesn’t interest me whether they are “real” or not.  All I’m saying is that I got a sense of the uncanny there that was well worth the admission price.  I am not angry with the director of House of Wax for not having actually thrown a stake through Paris Hilton’s head.  (Wait, come to think of it, maybe I kind of am…)

Four fail-proof steps to smashing success!

So, I watched this interesting video of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s TED talk and it sent me into paroxysms of ambivalence.  In it, she discusses what women can do to further their careers and make it to the “C-suite.”  Her advice, which basically boils down to “stick up for yourself and be more aggressive,” is undoubtedly helpful to reach that goal.

Sandberg lodges the rightful complaint that success and likability generally correlate directly for men and inversely for women.  That certainly sucks, but I stop short of saying “hey, since I like the male CEO, I should make an effort to like the female CEO too!” because, frankly, I don’t like the male CEO either.  He probably made it up there by being a pushy, self-promoting douche.  To climb to the top echelons, you have to spend a lifetime in board rooms out-assholing a bunch of assholes.  It sounds exhausting and kind of sad.  Even the word “C-suite” is kind of gross.  The more time I spend alive, the more suspicious I am of the very idea of success.  Look at those painful binding stiletto devices Sandberg has on her feet while she gives her talk.  If she were a man?  Why, she’d be wearing a silk noose.  Scarcely better.

She also has an intensely American pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps approach to the whole problem.  She harbors a clear belief that if you have talent and you want something bad enough, you can have it.  Given that I have actually managed to sell a novel to a major publishing house, it would certainly flatter my self-esteem to espouse that belief.  But, I guess I am a typical chick, because I don’t particularly believe that I managed to get where I am with the power of my sheer awesomeness.  I’ll tell you right now what success is made of–so if you want to make it to the C-suite, get a pen:

  1. circumstance.  Largely what social class you are born into.  What you can do about it: come out of the right vagina.
  2. luck.  Right time right place.  What you can do about it: hahahahahaha.  Nothing.
  3. drive.  How many times you are willing to get punched in the face by life to get your cookie and/or how many people you are willing to push aside to get your punches/cookies. What you can do about it: I don’t know.  Numb yourself with drugs or something.
  4. talent.  Don’t get too excited, because this is a distant fourth.  What you can do about it: You can work real hard to cultivate whatever talent you were given.  If you have enough drive.  But this will be no great help if luck chooses not to strike.

So, get cracking.  Start by coming out of the right vagina.

History writes history.

Awesome Romanian research stuff:

According to many sources, the pastoral ballad Miorita encapsulates something essential about the Romanian soul.  In the story, three shepherds tend their sheep on the same plain: a Vrancean, a Transylvanian, and a Moldavian.  Since the Moldavian is the wealthiest, the other two decide that they are going to kill him and steal his flock.  The Moldavian’s favorite lamb, Miorita, overhears them, and goes to warn her master.  The Moldavian only wishes to be buried on the heath with his flute, and tells Miorita to tell all the other sheep and his poor old mother that he went away to marry a princess “at Heaven’s doorsill,” that the sun and the moon came down to hold his bridal crown, that the mountain was his priest, the stars his torches, and the birds his fiddlers.

Such stoic submission is totally incomprehensible from an American standpoint, and yet it is undeniably beautiful, and contains its own kind of strength.

Do not piss off Vlad the Impaler.  If you are not sure why, see name.

An uncanny number of consorts of Romanian heads of state have my name.  It’s a little spooky.

Medieval Wallachian king Michael the Brave owed the Ottomans a whole bunch of money. So he was like, “yo dudes, come get your money.” And then they showed up, and he was like, “see that building? Your money’s in there.” So they went in. And then he set the building on fire.

Huh. Think I could pull that off with student loan people?

1858

The Ottoman Porte allowed Moldavia and Wallachia to each elect heads of state, but did not allow them to unify as a nation. In response, the two principalities both elected… the same guy.*

Ha! Well played, Romania. Well played.

* married to one of the Elenas.  Yep.

In ancient times, what is now Romanian territory was inhabited by a people called the Dacians, who were eventually swallowed by the Roman empire.  Very little is known about them–what is most interesting about them is how Romanians have chosen to fit them into their national narrative over the past couple of centuries.  When they wanted to belong to western Europe, they surmised the the Romans had entirely eradicated the Dacians–essentially making modern Romanians descendants of Rome only.  When they wanted to separate themselves from western Europe, they instead cast Rome as the outside oppressor, making modern Romanians plucky Dacian survivors.  In the unwinding years of the Ceaucescu regime, it was affirmed that Romanian is such a heavily Latin language not because Dacians were romanized but because–hang onto your pants–Romans were dacianized.  According to this theory, the Latin language was in fact descended from Dacian, and the origin of western civilization can be traced back to Romanian soil.  The truth is, of course, that the Dacian language is completely lost–its only possible remnants being a small collection of modern Romanian words that are neither Latin nor Slavic.

The truth is that writing down what happened also erases what happened.  The truth is that history writes history.

Publishers Weekly cool book stuff!

Today a Q & A with me came out in Publishers Weekly! Yay!  They also gave me a lovely review that I can’t figure out how to get a permalink to, but it is easy to get to from the interview: you just have to click the title of my book in the article.  So, I am excited.  I am also excited about 13ruetherese.com.  I’ve already put in it my sidebar though it still only features a “coming soon” banner.  But when it comes, it is going to be COOL.  The website people are doing a beautiful job.

So, I met a friend for lunch.  She randomly proposed we go to San José to surprise a dude she hadn’t seen since high school who owns a beauty salon there.  I said sure.  We mapped the place with my iphone but when we got there, there was a ballet school where the beauty shop should have been.  We asked the people there where the beauty shop might be.  We were told that we were on North First Street, that maybe the address was on South First Street.  We meandered to South First Street, where we found a beauty shop with a different name that had no entrance.  When we finally figured out how to get in (via the luxury hotel next door), we were told that the other beauty shop did not exist.  We called the phone number we had listed for the mystery beauty shop.  It rang and rang and no one answered.  We turned a corner and there was a carnival.  We rode a Ferris wheel that used to belong to Michael Jackson.

The above was not a weird, meandering dream, but my actual day.  We also got hit on a lot by carnies.

I don’t know how yet, but it will.

I drafted a short story! It’s been a loooooooong time since I’ve done that. I tend to forget that when you write something, it doesn’t have to be 300 pages long.  I’ve also been doing lots of research, reading up on Romanian history and lore.  I’d forgotten how much fun research can be, how some interesting factoid can lead you onto another interesting factoid then another then another into palimpsestic infinity.  Must have been part of why I pursued academia, back in the day!

For instance, I just learned today that there was a terrifying 7.3 earthquake in Bucharest in 1977 that killed over 1,500 people and hugely damaged the city.  Which created an opportunity for the erection of lots of gigantic stolid Socialist architecture.  And displaced so many people (even more were subsequently displaced to make way for aforementioned gigantic stolid Socialist architecture) who abandoned their dogs that said dogs formed packs and this is why the city had a big stray dog problem up until this decade.  Whoa.

All this research was prompted by my pained realization that In the Red is supposed to be in the third person.  Which in turn made me understand that the novel has to be bigger than just Irina’s story.  So I am pursuing a sort of collective unconscious type of angle.  And let me tell you, the Romanian fairy tales I’ve been reading lately are perfect for that, because they are WEIRD.  They are like a Jungian’s wet dream.  Not to mention the great boon of being able to exploit the tremendous richness of fairy tales that don’t happen to be familiar to a western audience.  No, I should say, “known by a western audience,” because it is the hallmark of fairy tales that they are always familiar.

All this background stuff is going to give me the structure.  I don’t know how yet, but it will.